Feather
by Minna Miteite Kure
Summary: Ivan is just like a feather, he's small, fragile and beautiful. Isaac realizes that when Ivan gets hurt in battle. IsaacXIvan. No longer a one-shot!
1. Feather

Hello again.

This was inspired by the fact that Ivan is the only one who dies when I play GS.

I don't own anything. Isaac's POV. Enjoy.

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Feather

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We all knew it, the moment he joined us. He knew it too. He was fragile.

Ivan was definitely a great addition to our team, but he had many disadvantages. He was small, was not very strong and could not sustain much damage. But, he was fast, agile and certainly powerful. His spells were particularly effective. I, for one, would rather not be the target of Shine Plasma, Thunderbolt or Tornado.

He has always known his small stature would be a major drawback in combat. Garet and I rarely suffered damage, Mia did sometimes, but Ivan always got most of it. After many difficult battles, he would be in pretty bad shape. Ivan never stopped fighting. He wanted to be at the battlefront with us, he wanted to be part of the group, he wanted to fight and become stronger.

That particular time, the fight did not leave him stronger at all.

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We were fighting exceptionally strong monsters around Xian. After an enormous amount of effort, we finally defeated them, but not before one of them got to Ivan. With a single blow, he was hit so hard, he lost consciousness. He was left with a relatively wide wound on his side. He also broke his arm when he fell on it after the blow. Both Mia and I were worn out from this fight and previous ones, so we could not heal him right away. We made our way back to Xian. Garet carried Ivan.

We decided to stay the night at the Inn in Xian, even if we had originally wanted to go straight to Altin. I wanted to make it back as fast as possible, because I knew Ivan needed to be healed right away. When we got back to the city, Mia stopped us before we got to the Inn.

"If we are going to stay here, I might as well go buy some more supplies. I could use another staff." She said. Mia is a very nice girl, but she has a tendency to buy too much stuff and overpack. It's a good thing we have a lot of money and a strong guy like Garet to carry things.

"Okay, get us something to eat too, will you?" I asked.

"Of course! Garet will help, alright?"

"What should I do with the little guy?" Garet asked.

"I'll take him and heal him with the Psynergy I have left." I answered.

"I still have a Psy Crystal if you want to use it." Mia offered.

I accepted the item and then took Ivan from Garet's arms. The Mars adept and the Mercury adept then left.

I was surprised at how light Ivan was. I estimated him to weigh around 90 pounds. I know the boy is very short and can't weigh all that much. But still, a healthy young man should weigh more than that.

I walked into the Inn and when the Innkeeper saw us, he quickly got up to give us a room and also brought me towels, so I could care for Ivan's wound.

I laid the light figure on the bed delicately. Somehow, I was scared to break him. Carefully, I took off his blood-stained tunic and undershirt. I could tell by looking at his face that his skin was very pale, but I couldn't imagine the paleness of his chest. It's as if his skin had never been exposed to the sun, as if it had never been touched. I blushed at the thought. My hand was on his stomach, next to his wound. The skin was soft.

Wound. Right, there's a wound.

I snapped out of it and got to work. Using the Psy Crystal, I regenerated a big portion of my PP. I carefully wiped the blood off his wound with a towel and started curing it. After a while, the wound stopped bleeding, and, using some bandages I had in my bag, I wrapped it around his side, lifting his small body off the bed for a moment, before letting it back down slowly. I then moved to his right arm. His forearm was swollen and he also had a small bruise. Judging by the way he fell, he probably broke his humerus. I felt his arm around the place I suspected the bone was broken and felt a simple crack. Using what Psynergy I had left, I reduced the appearance of the bruise and started to fix the bone. Before I could finish, I ran out. I proceeded to immobilize his limb, by folding it carefully over his chest, wrapping it in a towel. Using the bandages I had left, I wrapped it around his neck and his left shoulder, to make sure it doesn't move.

I sighed. That was the best I could do, and it wasn't much.

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A few minutes later, Mia and Garet got back to the Inn. He was carrying a couple of weapons and other supplies, like Potions. She was carrying food, rice noodles I suspected. She put it down on the table, as Garet let his load off his back on the floor with loud bangs. I winced. I didn't want Ivan to wake up from all the noise, but he seemed fine.

"How's the little guy?" Garet asked, with his usual obnoxious voice.

"... He's fine." I answered, not talking too loud, hoping Garet would learn by my example.

"Great! I was worried about him!"

I swear every time that guy talks, it's like an earthquake.

Mia walked to Ivan and checked on the job I had done.

"He's not bleeding anymore." I explained. "Also, his fracture is only partial."

"Is his arm swollen?" she asked, like the caring doctor she is. I nodded. She placed a small block of ice on his makeshift splint. "You'll be alright, little guy." she whispered. She then stroked his hair. Seeing her hand go through his golden locks, I felt like doing the same. His hair must be smooth and soft.

We then decided to eat. Mia had gotten four portions of noodles. Garet, Mia and I all ate our portion quietly. Then, there was one left, Ivan's. Garet offered to take it, to relieve us from it, with all his benevolence. I denied him. Looking over at Ivan, I knew that the boy should not be skipping meals.

I picked up the bowl, walked over to his bed and sat next to him. I placed the bowl on the nightstand for a moment.

"If he misses a meal, it's not that bad." Mia said.

"I know." I answered. "I'm still going to do it."

"...Okay then."

Mia and Garet continued with their own activities.

I then turned all my attention to the boy lying next to me. I got closer to him, to his delicate face and parted his lips with my fingers. I couldn't help but blush a bright shade of red. This felt surprisingly intimate, and wrong, because the boy was unconscious. I found myself staring at the parted lips. They were not too thin, not too full, not dry, soft ... just kissable. I pushed the strange thought from my mind and focused back on the task at hand. I grabbed the bowl back and, using my chopsticks, I cut one of the long noodles to smaller pieces. I was very talented with chopsticks, too.

I brought a bite to Ivan's lip and put it in his mouth. I then helped him swallow, and repeated the process.

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After half an hour, about half the bowl was gone, and I decided it was enough for him. I gave the rest to Garet, who reheated it and stuffed his face with it.

It was getting late and we were all tired. The room we were in had three beds. Of course, Mia would get one. So I had to decide whether I wanted to share with Garet or Ivan. To me, the obvious choice was Ivan. If the boy woke up, I would be next to him, and I would also have way more room. And, in all honesty, I just wished to be close to him... Garet didn't mind at all. He threw himself on his bed and almost instantly started snoring. Mia removed the ice block from Ivan's arm and disposed of it, then got changed in the bathroom and got to bed, without making a sound. I then got changed also and walked back to the bed I was going to share with Ivan.

Carefully, I put the covers over his figure. I moved to the other side of the bed and lied down next to him.

After a few minutes, I found myself unable to close my eyes; I was too distracted by Ivan's calm breathing. I turned to look at his face, the only part of his body that wasn't covered. He seemed so serene, so calm, so... beautiful. My hand found its way out if the covers, to his face. Carefully, so I wouldn't wake him up, I placed my hand on his cheek. As expected, it was soft, and it was also warm. I caressed it slowly with my thumb. My skin felt rough against his.

Suddenly, I felt him move under my touch. For a second, I was worried I had waked him up. After a moment, he stopped moving. His face was now towards me, my hand still on his cheek. I smiled. Maybe somehow my caresses were comforting him. I continued. I could see a small smile on his lips. I moved my hand to his hair and played with it a bit. I was right... it is soft.

Unconsciously, I moved closer to him. My other hand moved to the other side of his face, touching his lips with my thumb. My face got closer. All I could see were his lips. So soft and delicate, slightly parted... My heart was beating fast.

I got closer. Our lips came into brief contact. I backed up, trying to calm myself down. In the back of my head, I thought that this was wrong. I felt like I was taking advantage of him, and really I was. But, it was like I had no control. In a second, my lips were back on his. My breathing was fast and irregular. My right hand left his face to go to his soft, slender neck, as I was kissing him. His lips were motionless, but tasted like heaven.

My hand continued their journey down the fragile body. When my hand touched the bandages, I jumped back, terrified. I was flushed, I felt strange, like I had never felt before. I looked at Ivan. His head was still turned to me. His lips were open, a bit swollen and reddened from my ministrations. He was still unconscious.

I suddenly felt bad, dirty. I should not have done that. I had lost control of my body. But kissing him felt so good...

This whole situation brought tons of questions. As I fell asleep, I was left confused.

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"I-Isaac..." said a weak voice.

I woke up. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness. Finally, I could see Ivan, lying next to me. I could tell his body was shaking.

"What's wrong Ivan?" I murmured.

"Isaac... it hurts." he answered.

"Where does it hurt?" I asked, worried.

"What happened?"

"You got badly hurt in our last fight. You got hit on your side, and broke your arm when you fell."

"... Where are we?"

"In Xian. Don't worry, you're safe."

"I can't move my arm."

"Don't, Ivan. You shouldn't move it."

He started to cry silently. I could tell by his breathing punctuated by sobs.

"Don't cry. You'll be okay. In the morning, Mia and I will heal you. It'll be over soon."

He didn't stop crying. Instinctively, I wrapped my left arm under his light frame, and my right arm somehow found his way to his other side, making sure I didn't hurt him or move his splint and his bandages. I held him to me, against my chest, as tight as I could. His body was shaking against me. It felt as if I was shaking too. Maybe I was.

Shaking like a light, fragile feather, Ivan's weeping eventually died out and he calmed down in my embrace. He put his left arm around my right shoulder and held me. I blushed. Maybe he did also.

A moment passed and his hold loosened, as he slowly fell back to sleep. My hold did not loosen. I wished I would never have to loosen it.

"Sweet dreams." I whispered.

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Thank you for reading! And thank you for reviewing also! ;)


	2. Leaf

I was inspired to write a second chapter after all. I will at least write a third one. I still don't own anything. Enjoy!

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Leaf

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I knew it. Some things I discovered about myself and my friend Ivan I never thought I would know, I then knew. That cold night, that had concluded a long and gruesome day, no one would think anything good would come out of it. I certainly learned precious knowledge.

I learned Ivan has the softest skin my hands would ever get to touch, the tastiest lips my lips would get to kiss and that he likes to be held at night. Good thing I like holding him.

That particular morning, I woke up next to an angel.

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Daylight entered the window of our room and tickled my eyes. Unwillingly, I opened them. For some reason, I simply did not want this night to end. It might be the small boy I'm holding against my chest. Looking down, I saw Ivan, in my arms, cuddle up against me as much as he possibly could, given his restraints. It seemed he had shifted a bit during the night. His legs were against mine. His feet were cold against my legs.

I couldn't help but stare at his face. His eyes were closed, his lips were parted, and he was slowly breathing in and out through them. He seemed so serene. I couldn't help myself. I moved up a bit and let my lips meet his for a brief second. And then, I smiled. Deep down, I felt good for some reason. It felt as if this was somehow real, as if Ivan and I really were... Were what, I couldn't tell... It just felt right.

And then I realized, he was still sleeping, still unconscious. I was getting a bit comfortable. I should stop... doing things to him while he's unconscious. I didn't feel right anymore. What... what would he think of this? I moved back from him and sat on the bed. Suddenly, I felt terrible, wrong, disgusting. I put my hands on my face, to try to calm myself down.

Ivan moaned next to me and shifted some more. After a moment, it was silent again.

"Isaac?" I heard. I turned around to look at Ivan, who had woken up. He still had a very tired look on his face.

"Morning." I said.

"... Morning." Ivan said, in pain. He then sighed a heavy sigh.

"How are you doing?" I asked, even if I knew the answer.

"I... Hum... I'm alright." I was surprised by the answer. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, it was because of me. For a moment, he gazed into the nothingness in front of him and nodded to himself. "Yeah... I'm alright."

Ivan seemed very strange to me. He generally isn't so... pensive. He turned his head back to me and smiled. I blushed. He stared at me for a while and I stared back. He was even more gorgeous with his eyes open.

"Heal me please." He said. I snapped out of it and got up.

"Y-yes... Right away, sorry." I got up and moved to his side of the bed. As I did, I saw Garet, sleeping in the bed next to us, snoring incredibly loud, as usual. I noticed the third bed was empty. Mia must be up already. I turned around back to Ivan, who was staring at me with an impatient look. He then smiled a forced smile.

I think I get the message now...

I helped him up for a moment, so I could take off his splint, and then let him back down onto the bed. I carefully removed the towel around his arm. He winced in pain a couple of times. I apologized, but really I couldn't do much better. Ever so careful, I cured his fractured limb. It would take a moment. While I was curing him, Mia walked into the room.

"Oh, you're up." She said. "Good morning, boys."

"Good morning, Mia." I said. "... Morning." Ivan said.

Mia, who was carrying a bag, moved towards our bed, while I was healing the boy. "How are you doing, Ivan?" She asked, in her usual caring manner. "I'm okay." He answered. He sounds so very tired.

"Do you need help?" Mia asked.

"No, I should be fine." I said. "What's in the bag?" What could she have bought again?

"Breakfast. Some fruit and a loaf of bread." Okay, that's reasonable. Mia dropped her bag on the table and moved in behind me. She got closer to my ear and whispered. "You two were pretty cute this morning." She said. I jumped. "W-what?" "You know what I mean." Smiling, she walked away. I was blushing furiously. She must have seen me holding Ivan while we were sleeping.

"What's wrong?" I heard Ivan ask me. I looked back at him, nervous. "N-nothing! Nothing at all..." I got back to healing Ivan. Even if he was still wondering what was going on, he simply let it go.

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I continued healing Ivan for a while. Mia woke Garet up. My friend grumbled. He disliked being woken up "so early". And really, it wasn't that early. Garet is just incredibly lazy. But then, he saw the food and he wasn't as mad anymore. He stuffed his face with all the food, but Mia managed to grab some for herself. I took a break from healing to go grab some for Ivan and myself as well. I managed to grab a piece of bread and 2 apples.

"Are you hungry?" I asked the boy, lying on my bed. Ivan still seemed to be lost in thought. "Hum... No, not really."

I looked at him from head to toe. He remembered when I carried him yesterday. He was so light and small. And seeing that he didn't want to eat worried me a bit.

"Do you skip meals often?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried, taking a tone similar to Doctor Mia's.

"I... don't have breakfast most of the time."

"Well, you should. Don't you think?"

"No. I'm just not hungry in the morning."

"It would really be best if you had a little something, Ivan, even if it's just an apple." Mia said. Maybe Ivan would listen to her.

"... Whatever." I handed him an apple and he took it with his good arm. He didn't seem too thrilled at the thought of eating that apple. I took a bite of my bread and got back to work, as Ivan ate his apple.

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An hour later, I was done. Ivan was completely healed, and I was proud of my work. Silently, Ivan got up from the bed and put his clothes back on. I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. I did enjoy watching his bare chest... I tried not to let my disappointment show on my face, but I might have failed, because Ivan gave me a strange look, before looking down. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I could see a tinge of red on his soft cheeks.

Garet and Mia moved towards my young teammate. Garet patted him on the back and Mia gave him a quick hug and a warm smile, which was returned. We were all glad that our team was back together and in one piece. We could finally go on with our journey.

We all packed our personal belongings. While I was packing mine, I was a bit distracted. Ivan stood on the other side of the bed, packing what little of his stuff was unpacked. He would fold his clothes on the bed and then turn around, bend over and put it in his bag that was on the floor. I must admit it gave me a pretty nice view. It was only for a brief moment but I would blush.

I heard Mia clear her throat and I got back down to Earth. I stared down at the shirt I was in the process of folding and got back to it. Embarrassed, I continued packing, determined to not let Ivan distract me. The boy finished packing first and sat on our bed, with his bag on his lap waiting for us to finish. I suspected he would be reading a book or staring at the wall, deep in thought. I could only imagine how cute he must look. I decided to peek for a second.

When I turned around, I saw Ivan looking straight at me. He quickly turned his head to look down, and I could guess a light blush on his face.

Deep down, I felt strange. But a good kind of strange.

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A few moments later, we were all ready to leave and we did. We stopped at the market in Xian to buy some food for our short trip. Then, we got on our way to Altin.

For some reason, during most of the walk, Ivan stayed behind. He wasn't the most talkative of our little group, but today he was almost completely silent. I tried to include him in our conversation several times, but he would simply ignore me and look away. I felt a bit rejected, but maybe he was just not in the mood to talk, and I respected that.

We got into a couple of battles, but we managed to win them all. Ivan was particularly in the zone. I would constantly check on him to make he wouldn't get hurt again. Surprisingly, he barely got hurt. I was very proud of him.

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It was getting late and we were all tired. We wanted to settle a camp for the night, in a small clearing in the forest. Ivan, even though he was hiding it, was very tired, I could tell. He dropped his bag on the floor and sat down. Suddenly, I heard something. I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but I had a bad feeling.

It all happened in a second.

Out of nowhere, a monster appeared and jumped towards Ivan. The boy, who was stunned, could do nothing but stare. In a heartbeat, I jumped in front of him and took the hit. I fell back against Ivan who opened his arms to catch me. Garet and Mia reacted quickly and killed the monster, which really wasn't that strong, it just caught us by surprise.

Mia then ran towards me.

It was a bit of a blur, but I was conscious. I had a deep scratch on my stomach. I was resting against Ivan's chest, with my head on his shoulder. I was so very comfortable, even if I was in great pain. Ivan was shaking behind me, struggling to hold me up, and breathing irregularly, probably holding back tears. Mia was standing in front of me, instructing Ivan to move and lay me down on the ground so she could heal me. I didn't want to move from his arms.

Next thing I knew, I was lying down on the cold hard ground, and I was not comfortable. Mia still had plenty of PP and is the best healer I know. I had absolute confidence in her.

Garet got a fire going and prepared a late meal for all of us, while Mia was healing me.

It took her about half an hour, and during that entire time, Ivan stood by me, staring at me, ready to break down in tears. I looked up at him a couple of times and tried to calm him down with a smile, but all he would look at was my wound. He had a very sad look on his face.

When Mia was done healing me, Garet called us to dinner. Mia helped me up, because I was a little sore, but Ivan just stood there, and even took a step back. Mia sat me down next to the fire, and sat next to me.

Garet handed me some of the rice and vegetables he had cooked. "Are you okay, man? That was pretty scary!" He said.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said, smiling.

"The wound was not that bad." Mia said. "You'll be just fine!"

"Thank you, Mia."

I turned around to look at Ivan, who had not moved. "Come sit with us!" I said. "Even if Garet cooked it, the food is pretty good."

"Hey! That's not very nice!" Garet whined loudly. I laughed for a moment and turned my attention back to Ivan. I could tell he had taken a step back.

"I-I'm not... hungry." He said, taking another step back. I looked at him, worried. He seemed very nervous and fragile.

"I'll... I'll be right back..." He said, walking away some more.

"Going to relieve some primal urges, little guy?" Garet said, jokingly. Ivan didn't answer, turned around and walked away, deep into the woods. I was a bit worried about him. I stared in the general direction where he had disappeared.

"You should follow him." Mia said.

"He's just gone to the bathroom. He'll be back in a minute!" Garet added, stuffing his face in the dinner he prepared. I ignored his comment and got up. It was a bit painful, but I managed.

Ignoring the pain I felt in my stomach, I followed Ivan into the dark woods.

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Thank you for reading! Please review :)


	3. Petal

Here's chapter 3! I'll probably write one or two more chapters. Still don't own. Enjoy!

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Petal

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There were some things I needed to know. My friend was acting strange, he didn't seem very happy, and it worried me. I care for him very much and I want him to be happy. I felt helpless and nervous. But I needed him by my side.

Maybe there are things he needs to figure out also.

That night, I followed my friend into the darkness.

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I walked for a few minutes. I was a bit uncomfortable because of the wound I received, and I was tired, but I was determined to find Ivan and bring him back to our camp. I started calling his name through the woods. I got no answer.

After a moment, I heard a strange noise. Remembering what happened last time I heard such a sound, I was ready to defend myself. I listened closely and realized what the sound was. It was Ivan sobbing. I followed the sobs to meet the young boy.

I finally found him, sitting on the ground, leaning on a tree, his face hidden in his knees he had brought up to his chest and sobbing. It broke my heart to see him like this. I didn't know how to approach him. I didn't want to scare him, or bother him. For a second, I thought I should leave. Maybe he wanted to be alone. I quickly pushed the thought from my mind. I would be a terrible friend if I just left him there.

"...Ivan?" I said. He didn't look up, he didn't move. I stepped closer to him and sat down, which was a bit hard because of my discomfort. Hesitantly, I put my hand on his shoulder. I stayed like this for a moment, not really knowing what I should say.

After a minute, Ivan turned around to look at me. I saw his face covered in tears, his red cheeks, his gorgeous eyes full of sadness. I felt very bad; somehow I thought this was my fault. He just looked at me and kept on crying. I didn't know what to say.

"W-what's wrong?" I finally said.

He looked away again. And he cried. "I'm sorry..." He whispered, between sobs.

"Sorry for what?" I asked.

"I hurt you..." He said.

"What? Why do you say that? You didn't hurt me..." Unconsciously, I moved a bit closer to him.

"If I hadn't been so careless, that monster wouldn't have hurt you..."

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was!" He answered, his voice getting louder. "I always get hurt because I'm so weak! You and Mia always have to heal me! And now... you got hurt because of me."

"You're not weak at all. Today, you did really well! Together, we defeated all the monsters that attacked us, and you were a great help!"

"...No, I wasn't good. I'm never good... You got hurt... and it was all my fault."

It seemed no matter what I said, he wouldn't change his mind. I didn't want him to feel so bad. What happened was definitely not his fault.

"I'm fine! Mia healed, and I'm as good as new!" I said with a wide smile on my face.

"I saw it when you got up, or when you sat down just now. You're still in pain." He answered. He wasn't crying anymore, he was just angry.

"I'm fine, really." I didn't know what else to say. Ivan was looking away, with the same pained look on his face. He seemed deep in thought again. I put my hand on his other shoulder so I could hold him to me. I could feel him tense up under my touch. I really wanted to hold him, but I wanted him to be comfortable.

"Is... is this okay?" I asked, blushing a bit.

He said nothing, hiding his face in his knees again. For a moment, I thought I saw him blush a bit also. He was shaking a bit, maybe he was about to cry again. "Yes... it's fine." He finally said. He didn't sound angry, but very shy.

"I... I owe you one." Ivan said.

"You don't owe me anything." I answered.

"Yes, I do."

Ivan stopped hiding his face in his knees. Still holding his knees up a bit, he moved in closer to me and laid his head on my shoulder. His face was warm. I felt my heart beating faster; surely he could feel it too. I held him a bit tighter. I was incredibly comfortable. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Maybe... just maybe he did like me...

I looked down at the boy I was holding. He was staring at the ground in front of him, with a blank look on his face. He realized I was looking at him and looked up to meet my gaze. I was still smiling. Shyly, he smiled back. Ivan has such a beautiful smile. I stared at his lips for a while. I haven't kissed them since this morning.

Suddenly, Ivan stopped smiling and started breathing faster, through his lips. He seemed nervous. Maybe he was thinking the same thing I was thinking...

Slowly, I moved in closer to his face. I was trying to remain calm, but I was getting a bit excited... When I was only a couple of inches away from his lips, I saw Ivan shutting his eyes closed tightly, and tensing up, as if he was bracing for impact.

I finally closed the gap between us and let my lips meet his. They tasted as good as I remembered.

At first, he wasn't very responsive. He was very tensed and wouldn't let himself go. At the moment, I didn't consider him not really wanting to kiss me a reason why he would be so nervous, almost scared...

I put my hand in his hair and tilted his head slightly, so I could deepen the kiss, hoping it would make him relax. Shyly, I licked his lips. Hesitantly, he parted his lips a bit and I accepted the invitation. As my tongue entered his mouth, I felt him gasp silently and tense up even more. He put his shaking hands on my shoulders and clenched his fists in the fabric of my shirt, as if he was holding on for dear life. I let my tongue meet his, and he started moving his with mine. He didn't really know what to do, and honestly I didn't either. I just did whatever felt right.

The inside of his mouth was incredibly warm and tasted oh so good. I licked all I could lick, his teeth, his cheeks, but the best part was his tongue. I always came back to dance with it.

After a minute, I felt Ivan unclench his fists and shyly pushing me away. I took the hint and slowly broke away from him, even if I really didn't want to.

Ivan released a breath he seemed to have been holding for a while, and then took a much needed deep breath. I realized he had been holding his breath since the beginning of the kiss.

I was floating on a cloud. But Ivan was looking down, catching his breath. I couldn't see his face; it was covered by his beautiful hair. My hand was still in it, playing with it. I moved my hand so it rested on his soft cheek, I stroked it lightly. I lovingly kissed the top of his head. His hair smells very good. I wanted to look at his face. I moved my hand under his chin and pushed him up. His eyes met mine again. His face was all red.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

He was silent for a moment. Then, he nodded.

"Can... can I continue?" I asked, hopeful.

He stared at me with nervous eyes. Then, he looked down and gulped. He was still a bit breathless from our last kiss, and he seemed hesitant. He then closed his eyes for a second and regained control of himself.

"Y-yeah..." He said.

I smiled. I felt incredible, all warm and fuzzy inside. The last kiss might not have been a conscious one, but this next one, he truly agreed to it. Ivan accepted me, and my feelings.

I got closer to him so I could hold him tighter. With my hand still on his chin, I brought his blushing face up to meet mine and let my lips on his again. I could feel him closing his eyes again, not as tightly shut as last time. He seemed to be relaxing a bit, but he was still shaking a little. As he let my tongue back inside his mouth, he moved his hands on my shoulders again. He seemed more responsive this time. His tongue danced with mine. I put my hand behind his head, tangling it in his hair and titled his head again. I wanted this kiss to be as deep as possible. My mouth was wide open against his and I could reach much deeper into his.

Because of the position I was putting him in, I could feel him slip away from the tree he was leaning against, slowly falling to the side. I decided to take advantage of that. With one of my hand still behind his head and the other one going up his back, I slowly led him down to the cold ground. As he felt himself falling, I heard Ivan gasp again. One of his hands moved to my back. He was holding me tightly, as if he was scared of falling.

Carefully, I let his head on the ground, while still kissing him. My body was leaning a bit to his side. I wanted to be on top of him. I didn't know what position would be better. Hesitantly, I got up on both my hands, one on each side of him, without breaking our kiss. I moved over him. I thought maybe I could put one of my legs between his. As he felt my leg getting closer, Ivan tensed up more than he ever tensed up. He held his legs tightly together, clenched his fists and stopped kissing me for a second. I understood he didn't want me between his legs. He probably wouldn't want me to straddle him either. I simply let my legs where they were and covered his chest with my own.

I could feel him shaking; this was making him very nervous. Ivan was catching his breath again. He was blushing furiously still. That's when I noticed I had laid down his head in a small bed of white flowers. It almost looked like a halo of flowers was surrounding Ivan's head. He looked absolutely gorgeous. I stared into his eyes.

"Are you still okay?" I asked. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable with this. He stared back into my eyes, and nodded, without a word.

I got back to my previous activity. Kissing him felt amazing. I would never get tired of this.

Our kiss was getting heated. I could feel him move under me, and it turned me on. He rested one of his hands on my back and the other in my hair. One of mine was holding me off the ground, so I wouldn't lay my entire weight on him. The other got back into his hair. I titled his head, and he did the same to mine. I could feel him really kissing me back, pushing his face into mine. His tongue was in my mouth for a second. I'm not sure he really knew what was going on. At least, he was breathing now.

Since he was taking some initiative in our kiss, I moved my hand from the back of his head to his neck. I remembered touching it last night, and how I had wanted to feel more, but he still had his splint on. As my hand moved down his body, I felt him shiver and tense up a bit. My hand was resting on his hips. I wanted so badly to put my hand up his shirt, to feel the soft white skin of his chest...

We broke off the kiss. We were both breathing hard. I stared into his eyes, my hand still on his hips. Shaking a bit, I put my hand on the knot holding his belt. I could see he was nervous also. I clumsily untied the belt. I looked down to see what I was doing. When it was off, I put my hand on his hip and let it go down, to reach the bottom of his tunic. Then, it went back up under the fabric. My heart skipped a beat as I saw my hand disappear under the shirt, and touched the skin of his hip. I felt him jump in surprise under my touch.

I moved my hand to his stomach. I could feel some goose bumps on his skin. His skin was incredibly soft and creamy. I wanted to see... Slowly, I pulled his shirt up a bit. My eyes were graced with the sight of his gorgeous stomach. I missed that sight...

I'm not sure Ivan liked this. For a moment it seemed like he was going to pull his shirt down, but then he just let his hand rest next to him. I looked up at his face. It was turned to the side and his eyes were closed. He seemed very nervous. This position gave me good access to his neck. I moved my face towards his neck as my hand moved around his body. I kissed the creamy white skin of his neck. I let my tongue out of my mouth to taste it. He moved his hands to my shoulders and held tight. I think he likes this.

I kept on kissing him, licking him, as he moved his head to the other side. I moved along with him. Then, I moved back up to his lips and kiss them. He seemed glad I was kissing him again, because he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight to him. My tongue danced with his again. My hand was trapped between his chest and mine, under his shirt. It was on his heart. I could feel it beating really fast. I knew mine was beating fast too. My hand moved back down his body, passing a hard nub along the way.

Oh, the things I wanted to do to him... I knew I really shouldn't, that he was clearly not ready, but I couldn't help myself...

I put my hand on his back and kept going down... I cupped one of his butt cheeks and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Ivan panicked. He stopped kissing me, and screamed. He started pushing me away. I quickly removed my hand and got off him. Nervous, I stared at him, as he was regaining his breath. He seemed almost scared.

"I-I'm sorry..." I said.

Ivan sat up and covered his face with his hands, still having a hard time breathing. For a second, I thought he was going to cry again. I felt terrible. It seemed I always found a way to do everything wrong. I truly didn't want to scare him or push him too far.

"I'm very sorry..." I repeated. He didn't move. I wanted to get closer to him, and hold him, but I couldn't bring myself to do so, for I was scared he would reject me.

After a moment, Ivan uncovered his face. He took a deep breath and turned to look at me. For some reason, he had a very determined look on his face.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to react like that..." He said. I was very surprised by this statement.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong. I went too far."

Ivan looked down. He looked a bit sad. I didn't want him to cry anymore.

"Should we go back to the others?" I asked.

"Yeah... I'm a bit tired." Ivan answered, looking up and smiling a forced smile.

"Me too." I smiled back.

I got up and then helped him up. He dusted off the strands of grass and the dirt off his clothes. We start walking back. Shyly, I grabbed his hand. And he let me.

-----

We walked back to our improvised camp site. We were greeted by Garet and Mia who had been waiting for us.

"Man, that took you guys a while!" Garet shouted.

"Yes, you must have had a lot of things to talk about." Mia added, with a small grin on her face.

Ivan noticed her attitude and blushed. We then both realized that we were still holding each other's hand. He quickly let go of mine, and I was a bit disappointed. Luckily, Garet didn't notice we were holding hands. He's never been very good at noticing things.

All four of us were very tired and we decided to go to bed. We all got changed to go to sleep. We were all carrying a blanket and we used our bags as pillows. We settled around the fire. I made sure I wasn't lying too far away from Ivan.

I waited a few minutes, until I knew both Garet and Mia were asleep. I scooted over to where Ivan was lying, putting my makeshift pillow next to his. I carefully wrapped my arms around his light body. I felt him jump as I touched him. Maybe I woke him up. Finally, he relaxed and put his hand on my arm, holding me. I held him to my chest.

I never thought spooning would be this comfortable.

My face was in his hair. It was soft and smelled wonderful. But something was tickling me. I ran my hand in his hair and grabbed a very small object that was stuck in it. I brought to my face so I could see that it was. It was a white petal from the flower bed my angel had laid in. Smiling, I pushed it to the side and put my arm back around him.

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That was a pretty long chapter! I hope you liked it ;)

Please review! Please, pretty please!!!


	4. Cloud

Here's another chapter! I don't how many more chapters there will be, but I'm not done yet! XD

I don't own. Enjoy!

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Cloud

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I knew more than I ever thought I would know. The taste of his sweet lips, the feeling of his soft skin, his light body against mine, it was like I already knew them by heart. One thing I didn't know is how I could have possibly lived all my life without him.

But somehow, it felt like there was something wrong.

That morning, I thought I would wake up next to my angel.

-----

My body was sore from sleeping on the ground and from the injury I sustained the previous night. But the pain wasn't my main discomfort. As I opened my eyes, I could clearly see that something was missing. The space next to me was completely empty. Ivan wasn't there. His pillow and his blanket weren't there anymore. There was only dirt, and more dirt.

My heart sank. I could understand if he wasn't there anymore, maybe he went to the bathroom or something. But all his stuff was gone. As if he didn't want anybody to know he had slept next to me...

I got up and looked around. I could see Mia and Garet still sleeping around the fire that had gone out long before. And finally I found Ivan, sitting on the ground. I couldn't really see what he was doing, because he had his back to me. I got a bit closer to him, not really knowing how I should approach him.

He heard my footsteps and turned around to look at me. He was holding an apple and taking a bite out of it. I could see he was sitting in front of the bag that held our food supply.

Ivan looked so cute, biting into that apple like that. I smiled, probably a big dumb smile. He was just so cute...

"Good morning..." I said.

" 'ood morning, I'aac." He mumbled with his mouth full. He removed the apple from his mouth and chewed on the bite he had taken.

"Slept well?" I asked.

He stared straight into my eyes and blushed a bit before looking down and nodding. I smiled.

I wanted to ask him why he put all his stuff away already, but surely I was just being paranoid. I mean, he would have to put it away eventually. And we had nothing to hide from our friends. Mia knew already and Garet wouldn't mind. He probably wouldn't care! I decided it was no big deal and got over it.

I sat down next to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. I then grabbed some bread from our provisions.

"So you were pretty hungry?" I asked, as I popped a piece of bread in my mouth.

Ivan swallowed what he had in his mouth. "Yeah..." He answered. "I didn't have dinner last night..."

That's right. I had forgotten that. He skipped dinner last night. Well, it wasn't really his fault... I laughed it off. At least, he was eating this morning. He smiled, before taking another bite of his apple.

Shyly, Ivan leaned on me, and I placed my arm around his shoulders. I smiled to myself. I was very happy...

"Good morning boys." I turned around and could see Mia was up. Her hair was down and she was brushing it. As he saw her, Ivan moved away from my hold. Reluctantly, I let him go, but I felt a bit rejected.

"Good morning Mia." Ivan said, before taking another bite from his apple. "Good morning..." I added. Mia tied her hair and sat down next to us. She grabbed herself a piece of bread. I was a bit worried that she was going to ask us some questions. But, she kept quiet, which was a bit unusual.

-----

A few minutes later, Mia woke Garet up, who whined and moaned like the little kid he was. He got up, his hair all messed up and wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. My childhood friend needed a lesson in decency. A lady was standing right next to him and he was almost naked! I'm fairly sure Ivan didn't really want to see that either... nor did I want him to see that. I could see he was looking away as Garet was walking around.

I will admit that I sometimes get jealous of Garet. He's always been much taller than me and much more muscular. Since we were little, the girls I liked always seem to like him better, because he was stronger and better looking. Now, I know my jealousy was very childish, that I'm fine just the way I am... and that I'm much smarter than he will ever be. But, I was glad that Ivan didn't look... For the first time, Garet might not steel my love interest! I'm fairly sure Garet has no interest in men anyway.

My childhood friend finally put his clothes on. We all packed up our stuff while Ivan waited, because his was already packed. I could tell he was looking at me as I was folding my blanket and putting it away in my bag. When I looked at him, I smiled and he smiled back, with a light blush. He was sitting so cutely, next to a tree, with his knees up to his chest like last night, but he wasn't hiding his face. I could look at him all I want.

I was the last one to finish packing. I had an excuse, I was distracted.

-----

A few moments later, we got on our way. We would get to Altin before dinner for sure.

And we walked.

Just like yesterday, Ivan stayed behind, looking down at the ground. That annoyed me a little. I wished he would be closer to us, open up and chat with us a little. I moved to the back of our group, next to Ivan. When he saw me standing next to him, he looked up with a questioning look. I simply smiled at him. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He blushed a bit.

Mia, who was walking in front of us, turned around to look at us. Ivan nervously tried to break my hold on his hand but I didn't let go. "It's okay." I said, smiling. Mia smiled at him too, but he still seemed nervous. I wanted him to relax; I wanted him to be comfortable with this.

For most of the walk, I stood behind with Ivan and held his hand. I would still chat with Mia and Garet, and Ivan also attempted to join in. It took a while before Garet actually turned around and looked at us. I had cracked a joke and he had wanted to laugh with me, so he turned around. When he saw Ivan and me holding hands, he stopped laughing and stared at our joined hands. When Ivan saw Garet's expression, he tried breaking from me again, almost panicking. But I held on tight. Garet just looked away, without saying anything.

That reaction was a bit unexpected. I'm certain he was just surprised and didn't know how to react. Surely, he's fine with it. But after that, the conversation got a little dry.

A few hours into our walk, we stopped for lunch. Mia prepared some rice and beans for us, using a fire that Garet lit. We sat around the fire and ate. I got to look at Garet for the first time since he saw Ivan and me holding hands. Garet is usually cheery and loud, but now he seemed pensive, distant and almost angry. Mia and I both tried to talk to him, but he kept his responses to a minimum. Ivan didn't eat all his lunch, but I knew he had had a big breakfast, so it was okay. We packed up our cooking supplies and left.

We got into a few battles and won them all fairly easily. But I could tell Garet hit a little harder than usual. I knew that when Garet was angry, he would hit a little harder. Maybe he did have a problem with Ivan and me. Hopefully, after he was done venting on poor, innocent monsters, he would realize that there is nothing wrong with my relationship, and get over himself.

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We walked a few more hours and finally got to Altin. We were all surprised to see the state the city was in. Most of it was flooded! We got scared for a moment that the inn would be flooded and that we would have to sleep outside again. We looked around and finally found the inn. Mia wanted to go buy some food for dinner, but all the shops were inaccessible. We would simply have to eat whatever food we had left.

We walked into the inn and asked for a room. The innkeeper told us that most of the rooms were filled by people of Altin who couldn't stay in their houses because of the flood. He only had two small rooms left, one with a double bed and one with a single bed. We checked in to both room and met in the double bed room, for dinner. Once again we ate rice and vegetables. I was hoping that once we got to Altin, we could have a complete meal, but because of the flood, the people of the town didn't have that much food. Garet was also not too happy about eating rice again, he was hoping to eat some meat. Mia and Ivan didn't really mind. We ate our simple dinner and then discussed the sleeping arrangements.

"The three boys could share the double bed room, and Mia could sleep in the single bed one." I offered.

Garet's expression clearly showed us he did not like the idea at all. "I don't really want to share a room, or sleep on the floor." He said, with a grumpy tone.

"I'll sleep on the floor. I don't mind." I added, though I didn't really want Ivan and Garet to share a bed.

"Nah. It's all right. I'll just sleep outside or something."

"You don't have to." I said.

"Yeah, but I want to." He then got up from the chair he was sitting on and headed for the door. Mia got up to follow him. "I'll talk to him." She said. "And then, I'm off to bed. Good night, you two."

"Good night, Mia." I said. She then also left the room, at a fast pace to catch up to Garet.

And I was left alone with Ivan, who hadn't said a word in quite a while.

-----

Both Ivan and I got changed to something more comfortable to sleep in. For some reason, I felt he was very distant and didn't want to talk to me, or even look at me. He then hopped on to his side of the bed and curled up into a little ball, barely occupying any space in the bed. It seemed all he wanted to do was sleep.

I couldn't hide my obvious disappointment. I kind of wished we could have repeated the events from last time. I must admit it had been quite pleasant.

I sighed and moved to my side of the bed. After sleeping on the ground yesterday, I was glad we had a comfortable bed to sleep in.

Ivan was lying in front of me, with his back facing me. He didn't seem to be in the mood for anything. I didn't know if I should try or not. Shyly, I moved a bit closer to him. As I did, I could feel him shift away from me. It didn't stop me. I moved my hand to his side and tried to move it to his stomach. He moved away from me even more and I followed him. Soon enough, we were both lying on his half of the bed, Ivan was barely hanging on. I just couldn't let go, even if he was trying to break away from my hold.

Ivan was getting annoyed. He grabbed my hand and pushed it away from him. I felt incredibly rejected and moved back to my side of the bed. I was speechless for a second.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He didn't say anything.

"Did I do something wrong?" I added, trying not to sound too heartbroken.

I'm sure he heard it though.

After a long moment of silence, he turned his head to look at me over his shoulder. I stared straight into his eyes.

"No..." He finally answered. "You didn't do anything wrong." He turned back and laid his head on his pillow. "I just don't want to be held right now."

"Why not?" I insisted.

He didn't answer.

"I... I thought you liked to be held... and I like holding you." I said.

"... Yeah, I like it. I just... don't feel like it right now."

"You have to have a reason... What's wrong?"

The way he was laying down, I had a good view of his shoulder and his neck. Hesitantly, I moved towards him and kissed his shoulder and stroked it lightly. Ivan tensed up a bit. I wanted to see his face. Slowly, I pulled his shoulder towards me, until he was lying on his back. I looked at his face. He was looking away and holding in tears, I could tell. I stroked his face to comfort him.

"Tell me what's wrong." I asked, with my sweetest, most caring voice.

"Why is Garet so mad?" He asked. His voice was shaky.

"I don't know. He gets angry sometimes. Is that what's upsetting you?" I answered.

"When he saw us holding hands... he got mad... He almost looked disgusted."

I stared straight at Ivan's sad face. Disgusted, really? I didn't it see like that. I know Garet very well; I know he doesn't get that mad. I know he wouldn't feel that way towards me, I'm his oldest friend. But maybe his attitude could scare Ivan. While I was lost in thought, he turned around to look at me.

"Is this wrong?" Ivan asked. His eyes were full of tears.

"What are you talking about?" I said.

"... What we do."

"... Like holding hands?"

"And holding each other at night and kissing and stuff..." He whispered, blushing.

I smiled at him and moved my hand over his stomach again. He didn't reject me this time. "There's nothing wrong with 'what we do', Ivan." I said. I kissed his cheek, which was wet with tears. He didn't seem satisfied by my answer still.

"But... I'm a boy..." He said. "And you're a boy too."

"So?" I said.

He didn't answer. Maybe he didn't know what to answer.

"Do you like it when I kiss you?" I asked.

He hesitated for a second. "Yeah..." He whispered.

"Does it feel good?" I kissed his cheek again. I could feel him smiling a little. "Yeah..."

"If it works for the both of us, then it doesn't matter what people think." Ivan didn't say anything. He stared at the ceiling, pensive.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He turned around to look at me. His short-lived smile was gone. I kissed his lips. Ivan still had a sad look on his face. "Don't you love me?" I asked, hoping to reassure him. He stared straight into my eyes. With each passing second, my smile disappeared a little more. Ivan turned away to stare at the ceiling again.

"I don't know..." He finally answered.

"... W-what do you mean, you don't know?" I asked, nervous, taking my hand away from him.

He didn't say anything. My heart was racing. I wanted him to answer so badly. I wanted to scream but I held it in. "Do you love me?" Ivan asked.

"Yes, I love you." It took all my strength not to shout that last answer. "I... I just need some time to think..." He said. "Good night..." Ivan turned around, away from me, and went to sleep.

I turned away from him. Right now, I couldn't stand to look at him. I was so mad, not really mad at him, but mad at myself, because I couldn't see his doubts, because I expected him to love me back...

I couldn't close my eyes. As they wandered around our small room, they came to the window. I could that rain was falling down. I was trying my best to not let the rain fall from my eyes...

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Thank you for reading! Please review!!! I love getting reviews and it would make me very happy :)


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